54 Diamonds: Much Needed Pedicure

Today I cried at lunch.

I cried because I realize that school has REALLY started. I must have been in denial for the last few days as teachers went back and then yesterday was the actual first day of school. I honestly was pretty content with all the teacher mumbo jumbo business- meetings, long lunches, getting our classrooms ready, making copies.....

Even the first day of school. It's always fun to meet your new classes, the students in them and try out all your new approaches to the year. I was totally motived to get up early, have a nice breakfast, I even got a good workout in after school.

But then today. Oh today. Today I realized Summer is over and this is my life again.

I must have been in denial because usually I cry the night before school starts.

Some of you think I'm being cute or trying to creative as I write this post. Some may think I'm being silly when I say I cried. Or perhaps thinking that it's just a mopey sad feeling. Or that I really didn't shed tears.

I'm actually kinda mad, depressed, shocked and quite simply: mourning my past life.

My past life of:

-amazing vacations (Puerto Rico, Boston)

-sleeping in

-waking up early to go to the gym IF I WANTED TO

- trying new recipes

- shopping

- keeping up on all my household chores

- going to lunch everyday. everyday. (Hunter will witness this was true.)

- decorating my house

- going to the Temple during the day when it's not so busy

- throwing dinner parties

- not feeling depressed on Sunday nights

- feeling like I can take on new tasks, responsibilities, and opportunities because I have the time.

- crafts

- leaving the craft mess out because I could clean it up tomorrow

- being able to babysit for friends and family

- swimming and lounging by the pool

- spending hours with my mom doing frivolous errands and talking the whole time

- driving into Phoenix to have lunch with Todd

- doing the dishes everyday

- serving in my Ward more

- reading time

- internet wasting time

- blogging time

- organizing time

- having quiet time

- having loud music blaring time

- having time.

Now my days will be spent:

-waking up early

- having to put makeup on immediately in the morning

- putting on a friendly face when my brain is still asleep

- teaching in incredibly hot classrooms that do not have sufficient AC

- making copies

-thinking about what's coming up next

- filling out papers for everything

- going to meetings

- writing POs

- reading 60 emails a day about stuff I don't care about

- writing 60 emails a day about stuff I don't care about

- working out after a long HOT day of telling students to be quiet when I'd rather go to sleep

-coming home to chores, dinner making, and all the things I HAVE to do because tomorrow I don't have TIME because I have to go to WORK.

I'm being very negative.

Honestly. I don't really want to say this next stuff but I think it will be therapeutic to do so.

I have an amazing job.

I am truly blessed to HAVE a job.

I work with fantastic colleagues, students and parents.

My schools are 1 and 4 miles away from my house.

I have a long lunch.

I teach CHOIR so there are no state mandated tests or really requirements or pressure.

I teach CHOIR so my students actually WANT to be in my class.

I teach choir so my lesson planning is VERY basic.

I get to work with people.

I get to influence children for the better every day.

I get lots of holidays and breaks.

I get to be the boss of my classes.

Enough of that.

Mom took me for a pedicure this afternoon. It helped me calm myself down. Realize there is still time in my life for enjoyable activities. It helped me to come home and do the dishes and laundry that I have avoided for three days. It helped me COOK dinner rather than whine to Hunter and say "Let's go out to eat". It helped me realize life goes on. And it helped me get my feelings out in this post.

I cried because I remember what this is like again.

Anyways....

Here are some classroom shots: