Done. And totally worth every minute.

This year was a very very difficult year as a teacher.  For all teachers everywhere and for me personally.  

Pressures from the Federal government, the State, the school district, administrators, students and especially parents has made teaching about the worst gig going on around here.  It's truly sad that this is what it has come to for all these nurturing people who want to help and do their best.   

And me.  Me too.   (Because this is my blog and I write about my stuff.  Haha.) 

After much prayer and consideration this year, Hunter and I have decided that I will take a different road after this week. 

I am extremely lucky that I am Done.  DONE. 

It's quite hard for me not to get very descriptive right here, right now.  Hard not to complain.  Hard not to gnash out on all the unfair, unjust, completely dishonest events that have occurred this year because of naive, hurtful parents or a completely corrupt school district.  

So instead I will be happy.  And rejoice.  And reminisce on all the fabulous times and students and teachers and parents that I have been able to work with, to teach, and to love.  

I loved having my own classrooms where I could create, and build.

I loved chatting with teachers each day and working towards a common goal.

I loved warming the choirs up, showing them how to breath, how to form their mouth, how to "smile with their eyes".  

I loved that day when all the parts finally came together!  Even if it was just for one measure or one chord!  And everyone laughed and smiled once we heard that beautiful sound.  

I loved concert nights.  When everyone was dressed their best.  When we felt good as students and teachers- musicians-  andwalked off stage knowing that we had given our heart in that performance.  

I loved Monday mornings when we'd all talk about our weekends and get to know each other better.

I loved those special parents who gave so much of their time to help me and help the kids.  

I loved field trips.  Where we sang at the mall and shopped for Secret Santas and the Salvation Army and sang at the top of our lungs in the bus. 

I loved choir party days.  Mexican food.  Donuts. Chips.  Nina's bean dip. Puppy chow. And even pancake parties. 

I loved teacher luncheons where we could laugh and laugh and laugh and support one another with all that was required of us. 

I loved those times I taught drama.  The plays.  The musicals.  The late practices.  The cast parties.  The talent shows.  The lip syncs.  The monologues.  

Their faces when they saw the drama room for the first time.  

And most especially.  I love those students who made it all worth it. The ones who have confidence now that they are musicians.  The ones that would talk to me before class and during lunch.  The ones that went out of their way to help me out.  The ones that understood why we should work so hard.  And they saw that all that work was worth it. The ones that remembered due dates.  The ones that had water fights with me. The ones that cared for the kids who are left out.  The ones who tried out for solos.  The ones who when they sang they made me cry.  The ones who wrote me letters of gratitude and encouragement and love. The ones who begged to sing instead of have a "free day".  The ones who found their passion for music in my classroom.  

Some of those sweet SWEET children are forever engrained in my heart.  They make me know that my time as a teacher was completely and 100% worth it.  They make me cry as I write this and know that I will miss THEM.  Specific memories are clear in my head.  Memories that I will happily remember forever.   

So even though I am done.  I ache a little as I see this time in my life pass.  Because being a teacher, especially a music teacher, has been totally worth every minute. 

And I had a birthday

Happy 27 to me! No pictures bc I'm lame.... But it was a super weekend! Hunter took good care of me with shopping, special dinner date, breakfast, doing the dishes and a sweet love note which was my favorite.

My lovely 8th grade girls choir broke into the classroom and decorated for me and brought cookies and presents.

I had constant emails and texts and knocks and the door with kind friends and family wishing me a good day. I am such a lucky girl.

Then a super super yummy Mexican dinner at the Garners with beans and chili rellenos! My new favorite.- which I should maybe tone down my love for beans bc when I blew out my candles

my 4 year old nephew asked what I wished for. I said I'm not telling! And he said with total seriousness... "did you wish for beans?"

Schpeal

Okay so every year I have to give certian "schpeals" to the children about important subjects in choir... such as: when it is appropriate to raise your hand...when to completely leave me alone because I look like I am about to murder someone....why we sing about God all the time in choir....why you must not wear too much makeup at the concert....why I get to eat in class and they don't etc. etc. etc.

Today I was about to give one out to my 8th grade girls and I started with "Okay here's an important schpeal so listen up-"

When I was interrupted- 

 (WHAT? Natalie- there is no way those sweet angelic junior high-ers would EVER interrupt you?)

Yes interrupted with a gal who said "What's a schpeal?  It sounds like a tasty drink." 

....

Reading till 2 am

Last night I read a cheap book (cost and story) from Goodwill.  It was not some trashy novel.  It was pretty much a romantic comedy in book form.  I seriously read 90% of the book last night.  Why was it so important to me to get it finished last night?  I didn't go to sleep until 2am.   And I'm a 9 hour girl.

This morning, I had to get up and go to work...
My poor first hour had the worst of me.  I didn't want to talk to them.  Let alone smile, greet them and encourage them to sing their best.  One girl said... Mrs. Garner- you look really really tired today.  And you sound tired too.  Thanks, Sarah.  Very perceptive of you.  NOT.  (Remember when we would say "not" all the time?)

By second hour, I was loopy and not getting anything done.  I had woken a little but-  still dysfunctional.

I can't remember third hour, except I hadn't eaten yet because my stomach still thought I was in bed and my fingers weren't warmed up enough for me to create a bowl of instant oatmeal.  Anyways...
Third hour I made an Easymac and ate it while showing the girls how to sing an italian "ir".  All they learned is how I'm a jerk teacher who eats Easymac in front of them.

How lucky am I that I can run home for lunch?  And a little nap-cat... cat-nap... still can't get my brain straightened out. Where did that phrase come from?  It wasn't long, but I think it got me through.

I actually didn't eat at home.   So while driving to 2nd school of the day, I grabbed some Wendy's (late nights make for unhealthy eating the following day.)

My car was overheating- thanks, car.

So I was tired, smelling gross fast food, and my AC was off.

In the afternoon, I couldn't talk loud enough to get the children to realize that I WAS IN FACT teaching them.  My poor hazy voice had given up on trying to wake up.

The room seemed hot, humid and fuzzy all afternoon.  And I have a student with perfect pitch who loves to tell me when I'm playing a note wrong on the piano or when I'm singing off key... what a gift.

I'm totally into jogging (who AM I?) (future post) so I couldn't ditch my girl Kim for our after-school run.  I actually even broke one of my personal records... body shock probably.

So, again, what is my problem? Was this book worth it?  Have I ever done this before?  Will I ever do this again?  Why did I feel so compelled and enthusiastic about HAVING to read this 450 page book in one night?

Basically, I've learned my lesson and next time I will  call in sick when I read all night.

Picutres only prove you can't convince

I don't take pictures all the time.  But I want to chat with my blog.... and if I wait for pictures every time this will become a lame abyss of a blog where people stop checking.... and I ultimately stop writing.

Hence, 

I just have to say school started.  And why we would want to take pictures of this anyway, I don't know... But I really do need to get something creatively productive done during my work day and take pictures of my darling classrooms.  I had a team of YW put them together, so really they deserve the credit.  But the decorations were  MMYYYY IDEEEAAA!!!  (said in a whiney negative voice, not un-similar to a 12 year old 7th grader.)  

12

years

old.  

Every year I forget how young my baby 7th graders will look, talk and act.  And each year I am slapped in the face with stupid questions, immature thought processing little 12 year olds who wear size 10 (in boys and girls).  

But to be honest,  I love the heck out of these small kids.  I get a glimpse of the laughs that elementary school teachers get from their young students who are still trying to figure out life.  I get to answer questions with:

 "No, sorry we don't have Halloween parties in Junior high.... I know, I hate it too."  

or

"No, sorry I haven't seen your _______ (lunch box, back pack, pencil, folder, swimsuit, earring, lost tooth...)."  

And my favorite- that I will miss in a few months when these babies start acting like true junior high-ers and ignore their teachers- is all the fun exciting "news" they come share with me at the beginning of class.  

"Mrs. Garner!  My cousin got a new gerbil!"

"Mrs. Garner!  Someone threw up on the bus today!"

"Mrs. Garner! Last night my Dad said we could maybe go to Disneyland for Fall break!"

"Mrs. Garner! I got a new pencil."

"Mrs. Garner!  Mrs. Garner!  Mrs. Garner!!!!!"

Sweet, darling..... babies.  

And then there's the tough crew of 8th graders who after 12 weeks of Summer now seem to have a new knack for confidence, jeans that are one size larger and an endless supply of mascara.  

They've put in their time.

They've got the attitude.

They still forget their lunch boxes in my classroom.

Where do they come off?  

I am a super lucky teacher, though, in that because I teach choir, I have roll over students from year to year.  So the best part of the 8th grade snobs is that I continue to watch them grow into mature teenagers.  Seeing them grow physically, socially, intellectually (ironically I had to spell check that last word) and emotionally is a quiet satisfaction from teaching.  

By Christmas time, these 14 year olds and I can:

-hold a decent conversation where I do not feel like I'm talking in my Elmo voice.

-analyze a piece of music, theoretically and musically.

-mutually understand why McDonald's is disgusting.

-share life advice.  

BUT....

Really, junior high sucks.  And I'm stuck in it. 

These poor kids are confused, immature and paranoid about everything.  They want to pick out their own clothes but still want to be tucked in at night.  They have to be wearing the latest, coolest brands and styles, but really wish they could buy a Hannah Montana shirt and not be made fun of.  They want responsibility and freebies.  

But they are also eager to learn, ready for the next step in life and still wanting their teachers to love and care about them.  

I'm really lucky to listen to all their stories, watch them cry because they sat alone at lunch, watch them laugh because they got a glimpse from that special "someone", watch them struggle with math, watch them sit and devourer a book, watch them text in class.  I get to help them realize that kindness is the best policy, grades DO matter and no, you can't call your mom and have her bail you out every time.  

I get to see them discover who they want to be.  

Sappy sappy sappy.  

Just give these guys a break when their invading the mall this weekend: loitering, screaming, running and all.  You and I did it too.